“For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of:”
Men want to be fixers. They like taking credit for solving a difficult problem. It makes a man ‘feel like a man’ when his solution works. A natural man can’t help when he hears of trouble but that he wants to offer either his advice or his help to fix it.
This take charge attitude can make relationships beautiful or a burden. A woman likes for a man to listen to her problems; a man hates to listen, but he loves to solve problems. She feels better just talking about it, he feels worse. He feels like he could spend his time better DOING something about their conversation; she feels better just HAVING the conversation.
A paradox, no doubt!
Because men are so quick to action, they lack sincerity. A relationship desperately needs sincerity. Without a depth of feeling, no amount of ‘fixing’ will last. The Bible says, “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:” (James 1:19) The Lord is not nearly as interested in what you SAY, as your heart ATTITUDE behind those words.
Think of how this insincerity impacts you. Your child dumps your socket set all over the floor, and then attempts to put them all back. “I accidentally spilled your tools, daddy, but I’m gonnaput them all back, see!” No big deal, right? There’s no need to be sorry, cause I can fix it myself.
A friend borrows your car and runs it out of gas. It sputters and dies as he pulls it in your driveway. He hops out and in a hurry says: “Hey, sorry about that, gotta run, here’s $20 to fill it up again.” Is there still a problem when you have a solution already? YES, yes there is! It is not right to create a problem, just so you can solve it (can you say, government?) There is a serious issue in a friendship where this is ‘ok.’
A husband is unfaithful to his wife. He acknowledges his sin, and accepts full responsibility. He apologizes, but immediately begins identifying the weak spots in his marriage that made him fall. Some blame is rightfully his, and some blame is rightfully hers. But how do you think a to-do list sounds to a spouse, a wife, a lover who has been betrayed? Will it fix it? Probably, if the wife can totally ignore the lack of sincerity in her husband. Fixing is no substitute for sorrowing.
With each example your emotional understanding of this crisis deepened. You came close to feeling the angst we put the Lord Jesus through when we ‘move on’ so quickly from our sin without being sorry at all.
In seeking God’s pardon for his adulterous, murderous cover-up, King David prayed, “For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.” (Psalm 51:3) Isn’t it about time we ‘fessed up to to the fact that we messed up, before trying to dress up the ugliness of our sin? Fix it right the first time: say with the Psalmist, “For I will declare mine iniquity; I will be sorry for my sin.” Psalm 38:18
Spiritual Reload 